Whose Performance Is It?

I bet that you have a friend like mine…Jim. Covering up a profound intellect, coupled with a confoundingly dry wit, Jim never wastes words. With the combination of those traits, I’ve learned to pay close attention when he does decide to speak.

Such was the case one delightful autumn day, as we trekked a magnificent trail in the Smoky Mountains. Jim and I have backpacked those trails twice yearly for the past 24 years (we leave again this weekend). Together, we’ve learned that trail miles are of no significance, but rather, to blend in with what surrounds us, and to quietly experience the impossible beauty, intracies and perfect order that both proves and exults our Creator. We observe, we notice, we seek to become part of that world without encroaching on it. Our hearts feel cleansed at our journey’s end, having allowed ourselves to bow our hearts in reverence and utter awe of One so loving as to provide us the gift of participating in His creation.

And so, on one such trek, we entered a glorious valley between ridges. There was a powerful and loud rushing torrent on our left, punctuated with waterfalls of various sizes and attributes and sounds; bare rock walls on our immediate right; surrounded by colorful waving and fluttering leaves dancing in the wind…for our pleasure alone…and looking ahead to mountain contours that rise and fall in homage to their Maker. It is in this silent observing that Jim slows his pace ahead of me on the trail, then stops, slowly turning toward me with a wry smile on his face, and a twinkle in his eye, and sarcastically quips this gem…”and to think,” he says, “this all happened by accident.”

I chuckled and searched for an adjective to describe Abba’s care and love for us in his presentation here in this place. And whatever I said was no doubt heartfelt... but completely inadequate. Jim turned back, and we resumed our silent journey, knowing that it is the journey that matters, not the destination.

I’ve often thought that folks denying God’s authorship of creation, have much, much greater faith than I, believing that something can spontaneously spring up out of nothing, and then, as if painting on a canvas, add unbelievable detail and beauty, all in perfect order…and all on its own. Yeah…that’s pretty amazing faith.

In amazing detail Adonai communicates many things to us...details that loudly testify to His character, and also to the blessing of what one Messianic writer calls, "holy desperation." His caring detail to all things of His creation, illuminate to me how ludicrous are my attempts to rely on myself for anything. Shall I finally come to the end of myself and stop trying to gain His approval, stop trying to flatter Him to gain special favor, stop trying to perform for Him as if I gain points (which is really all about self-elevation, ridiculous as that notion is)…in a sense, when I try to manipulate Adonai, I am in fact, denying that Yeshua alone provides salvation and that I am somehow helping Him gain my salvation. All my life misery is related to this absurdity…that I can be self-sufficient, or that I can gain a stronger footing with Him by impressing Him. At this moment, that thought makes me chuckle to myself. Desperation is our blessing, because it means we trust in Yeshua alone and not ourselves…and what a relief that is!

I know there are times you’ve examined the veins of a leaf; a praying mantis balancing on a limb; the process of growth of squash in your garden; your own skin…when you did, you noticed and engaged with the marvels of Abba’s creation…and realized that He did so for your pleasure as well as to display His sovereignty. Or perhaps you were on that mountain trail, maybe off the beaten path, and realized you were seeing small miracles of creation that nobody else will ever see. In those moments, Abba was pleased to entertain you and have private audience with you.

The point is this friends…He performs for us; we needn’t perform for Him. After 40+ years of walking with Yeshua, I am finally learning that I cannot add to my salvation or earn it by various degrees of “goodness,” or service that secretly proclaims, "look at what I’ve done for you Father!” Rather, I am learning how to just “be” with Him.

By the way…have you ever wondered why we have taste buds? I suppose there are those who might provide some so-called evolutionary explanation for why we have taste buds…but I am convinced, the gift of taste is that! The Lord wants us to enjoy all he’s done for us, right down to the supreme enjoyment of eating. How beautiful and generous is that!

I have been a runner for more than 50 years…when I run, I often ask God to show me things along the way…and suddenly I am awakened to variations of the color green; to fragrances from blooms that fill my nostrils; to different melodies of songbirds; to the sensation of the breeze cooling my skin…and I shake my head in wonder…as Peter joyously put it, “Attah Mashiach El,” "You are God Messiah!”

My favorite Messianic writer, John Parsons, who authors the website called Hebrews for Christians, uses that paradoxical term "holy desperation," that in essence refers to celebrating our frailty and brokenness, while relying on God's strength and provision. When I finally reached the inevitable conclusion that there is no way I can advance my spiritual standing in the Kingdom through my efforts, I am finally beginning to embrace the notion of “poor in spirit,” that is, “holy desperation.” I have begun learning the truth of salvation. Salvation is Yeshua. It is not a mixture of my performance and Yeshua. God forbid! Rather, friends, we get to participate in His performance and His creation screams out to us! It is indeed, His stage friends, never ours!

Allow yourself to be uniquely loved by Abba today…shalom!